Hey Blog,
So Blue said I need to get my teeth whitening. Dani always tries to get me to wear Crest White Strips... I'm seeing a common theme. You love me the way I am, don't you blog?
Charity Event
So tonight I will be at Gordan Bierch for a charity event. I always think it funny when people get drunk for charity, my hangover the next morning feels better when I know I did it for a good cause.
Dirty Things
I dont consider myself a germ a-phobe but I have been thinking a lot lately of the things that are really dirty around me.
1) My keyboard that I blog on, is flithy... oh god I just touched my eye
2) The remote control in my bedroom.
3) My eye
4) The door handle of my car.
5) The top of my germX.
6) Did you know you can get crabs from a public toilet seat? Thanks to my 7th grade science teacher Mr. Hendershot for telling me that 20 years ago, since then if i'm doing number two in public.. I panic.
7) A one dollar bill- it's like carry a toliet in your purse or back pocket!!
8) Next time you eat at a restaurant before you put that fork in your mouth, think of how many 100's or 1000's of people have had that in their mouth, then think... you are trusting the restaurant to clean that fork... then you look on the floor and see raw sewage.
okay i'm going to go throw up now blog.
love,
JD
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
To Much Info Lady
Hey blog,
Haircut
So Dani made me get a haircut yesterday, which is rather painful for me because I'm not sure how many I have left... keep your fingers cross. Now I understand that some people enjoy talking, I do.. heck I make a living out of talking. But when all I want to do is get my haircut I don't need all the sorted details of your life. This is a list of some of the things my hair dresser told me yesterday and I swear i'm not making any of these up.
1) Her grandmother found out when her husband died that he had another kid- she had 16 kids
2) Her dad and her and her kids are all bastards, as she puts it "My kids are third generation bastards."
3) Every family reunion she has ever had, the police are called.
4) Her grandmother had twins and one of the them was taken away from her at the birth
5) Her great aunt use to get beat by her husband
6) She loves to karaoke but she isn't that good.
7) She thinks my radio station is too slow after 12:30
8) mumble mumble mumble, laugh really loud
I could have lived my life without knowing most to all of that.
I love you blog,
JD
Haircut
So Dani made me get a haircut yesterday, which is rather painful for me because I'm not sure how many I have left... keep your fingers cross. Now I understand that some people enjoy talking, I do.. heck I make a living out of talking. But when all I want to do is get my haircut I don't need all the sorted details of your life. This is a list of some of the things my hair dresser told me yesterday and I swear i'm not making any of these up.
1) Her grandmother found out when her husband died that he had another kid- she had 16 kids
2) Her dad and her and her kids are all bastards, as she puts it "My kids are third generation bastards."
3) Every family reunion she has ever had, the police are called.
4) Her grandmother had twins and one of the them was taken away from her at the birth
5) Her great aunt use to get beat by her husband
6) She loves to karaoke but she isn't that good.
7) She thinks my radio station is too slow after 12:30
8) mumble mumble mumble, laugh really loud
I could have lived my life without knowing most to all of that.
I love you blog,
JD
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Crazy Demon Squirrel
Hey Blog,
I had a fun time with my brother and Dad yesterday. I hadn't seen my brother for almost 4 years. We played a round of golf, which I haven't done in a long time as well. It was fun however there were these crazy demon squirrels. I had never seen anything like it, they had teeth like a walrus, they would stare at you and lick there lips and they keep trying to borrow money.
The Economy
So this might sound really really weird but ever since the economy has gone in the crapper, I put up an economy force field. Now I didn't buy a force field from a guy on ebay or anything, but I just imagined that I wouldn't be effected by the negative economy. Anyway, I have something really exciting that is happening that I can't mention right now, but once again... suck it economy!!!! Ha Ha Ha, I win again.
Buffalo Wild Wings
When Dani and I first went out together we went to BDub's. It was a magical time with beer and boneless chicken wings. However, now were both seeing a personal trainer, so all we could eat was a piece of lettuce, a sweet and low packet and water. I miss not caring what I put in my body.
Okay blog, I'll try not to miss another day. I have been really busy at work and I know I know, that no excuse. This Saturday i'm in Georgetown at the AT&T store from 2p-4p come out and get a new phone and say "hi"
love,
JD
I had a fun time with my brother and Dad yesterday. I hadn't seen my brother for almost 4 years. We played a round of golf, which I haven't done in a long time as well. It was fun however there were these crazy demon squirrels. I had never seen anything like it, they had teeth like a walrus, they would stare at you and lick there lips and they keep trying to borrow money.
The Economy
So this might sound really really weird but ever since the economy has gone in the crapper, I put up an economy force field. Now I didn't buy a force field from a guy on ebay or anything, but I just imagined that I wouldn't be effected by the negative economy. Anyway, I have something really exciting that is happening that I can't mention right now, but once again... suck it economy!!!! Ha Ha Ha, I win again.
Buffalo Wild Wings
When Dani and I first went out together we went to BDub's. It was a magical time with beer and boneless chicken wings. However, now were both seeing a personal trainer, so all we could eat was a piece of lettuce, a sweet and low packet and water. I miss not caring what I put in my body.
Okay blog, I'll try not to miss another day. I have been really busy at work and I know I know, that no excuse. This Saturday i'm in Georgetown at the AT&T store from 2p-4p come out and get a new phone and say "hi"
love,
JD
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Pickle
Hey Blog,
It must be hater week, I had someone get mad at me because of my bio on the website. I can think of better things to get mad at like:
1) Injustice in Guam
2) The War in Iraq
3) The taste of sweet pickles
4) Obama on Leno
5) Jay Leno's bio
6) dead baby seals
7) Octomom (although she does has have 14 kids and should be Deca-four Mom)
Blood Drive
Not a big fan of giving blood. I keep having a recurring nightmare where I give blood then the nurse turns to me and says "Opps, you got no more!!" then she takes a bite of an eggplant. I know weird nightmare. Anyway come out to Broadway on the Beach today to give blood today from 11a-7p
Okay short one today... my body is achy and I think I have the bird flu. That's the last time I make out with a pigeon.
love you,
JD
It must be hater week, I had someone get mad at me because of my bio on the website. I can think of better things to get mad at like:
1) Injustice in Guam
2) The War in Iraq
3) The taste of sweet pickles
4) Obama on Leno
5) Jay Leno's bio
6) dead baby seals
7) Octomom (although she does has have 14 kids and should be Deca-four Mom)
Blood Drive
Not a big fan of giving blood. I keep having a recurring nightmare where I give blood then the nurse turns to me and says "Opps, you got no more!!" then she takes a bite of an eggplant. I know weird nightmare. Anyway come out to Broadway on the Beach today to give blood today from 11a-7p
Okay short one today... my body is achy and I think I have the bird flu. That's the last time I make out with a pigeon.
love you,
JD
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Consultant
Hey Blog,
Well Dani P is in town for good and I'm happy. Although, she lost her luggage... actually she didn't lose it at all the airlines lost it. That's the most helpless feeling when the luggage belt stops and they announce their is no other luggage.
The Consultant
Our radio station has a consultant and he is in town this week. We went out to dinner and I asked him "Should I get the chicken or steak?" Think about it that's really funny.
Randy Owen Show
I got to do the stage annoucements. I had actually prepared a few minutes of material but once I got onstage and saw that there wasn't a person under the age of 72 there, I thought it was best to shelve my jokes about text messaging and the Real World. Although, it's ironic that my phone wouldn't let me text the word texted instead it texts the word textrd. Also, with the blackberry you can't ever call an office or a bank where you have to spell a name or enter your id info over the phone... since I have a qwerty pad instead of ABC. Randy Owen has beautiful hair.
March Madness
I hate it. I use to like it but then I entered a pool where top prize is $2,500. I'm not going to win. But I found myself routing for the number 16 seed to upset the number 1 seed. Plus, I find myself making deals with Satan... over $2,500!!! Stupid brackets. I'm a loser. Satan has beautiful hair.
That's all blog,
JD
Well Dani P is in town for good and I'm happy. Although, she lost her luggage... actually she didn't lose it at all the airlines lost it. That's the most helpless feeling when the luggage belt stops and they announce their is no other luggage.
The Consultant
Our radio station has a consultant and he is in town this week. We went out to dinner and I asked him "Should I get the chicken or steak?" Think about it that's really funny.
Randy Owen Show
I got to do the stage annoucements. I had actually prepared a few minutes of material but once I got onstage and saw that there wasn't a person under the age of 72 there, I thought it was best to shelve my jokes about text messaging and the Real World. Although, it's ironic that my phone wouldn't let me text the word texted instead it texts the word textrd. Also, with the blackberry you can't ever call an office or a bank where you have to spell a name or enter your id info over the phone... since I have a qwerty pad instead of ABC. Randy Owen has beautiful hair.
March Madness
I hate it. I use to like it but then I entered a pool where top prize is $2,500. I'm not going to win. But I found myself routing for the number 16 seed to upset the number 1 seed. Plus, I find myself making deals with Satan... over $2,500!!! Stupid brackets. I'm a loser. Satan has beautiful hair.
That's all blog,
JD
Friday, March 20, 2009
Dani P is almost here
Hey Blog,
Well Dani P will be here by the end of the day. You know how it is when your girl isn't with you, it feels like you are missing an arm. I can't wait to see her perfect smile and to be able to hold her again. I know I sound like a hallmark card but it's been a long three weeks... plus we can go to B-Dub's together again! Super Yay.
Flat Tire
It is interesting the questions that people ask you when they see you have a flat tire.
"How did that happen, you run over something?" said the hillybilly in the Truck
"I think aliens came down, tried to estabish first contact with the tire. After a few hours of the aliens trying to communicate, they shot the tire with a Hyberator Gun in disgust and flew off to Jupiter." I replied with a thick layer of sacrism
"Oh, I like meat." he drives off.
March Madness
I love saying bracketology. Say it with me... bracket... to..logy... Ha Ha Ha. My team didn't make it this year because the NCAA is racist. Okay that was harsh, their probably not racist. But they do hate the Germans. I am in a pool where the top prize is $2500. Yeah I know that's super awesome. If I win the money, I'm opening a home for german orphans and I'm buying a dolphin. Why not I live at the beach, I could just put it on a leash and tie it to the boat dock. I would name him Aquatic and feed him triscuts.
Okay blog I have to go to the hair dressers so I look good for my Dani P.
love,
JD
Well Dani P will be here by the end of the day. You know how it is when your girl isn't with you, it feels like you are missing an arm. I can't wait to see her perfect smile and to be able to hold her again. I know I sound like a hallmark card but it's been a long three weeks... plus we can go to B-Dub's together again! Super Yay.
Flat Tire
It is interesting the questions that people ask you when they see you have a flat tire.
"How did that happen, you run over something?" said the hillybilly in the Truck
"I think aliens came down, tried to estabish first contact with the tire. After a few hours of the aliens trying to communicate, they shot the tire with a Hyberator Gun in disgust and flew off to Jupiter." I replied with a thick layer of sacrism
"Oh, I like meat." he drives off.
March Madness
I love saying bracketology. Say it with me... bracket... to..logy... Ha Ha Ha. My team didn't make it this year because the NCAA is racist. Okay that was harsh, their probably not racist. But they do hate the Germans. I am in a pool where the top prize is $2500. Yeah I know that's super awesome. If I win the money, I'm opening a home for german orphans and I'm buying a dolphin. Why not I live at the beach, I could just put it on a leash and tie it to the boat dock. I would name him Aquatic and feed him triscuts.
Okay blog I have to go to the hair dressers so I look good for my Dani P.
love,
JD
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Green Beer
Hey Blog,
I know it's late but I literally worked today from 5am-7:30p with no breaks, except for 20 minutes at Subway Eat Fresh and Dr. Fitness, where I have lost almost 3 inches and 6% body fat in less than 3 weeks... call him today 843-455-3235!!! (ha ha it's fun to advertise)
The Green Beer
When my parents were kids everybody smoked cigarettes. You would walk by the soda shop and dime store and see 10 year olds puffing on their Lucky Strikes. I think at one point people thought that smoking was healthy. Now lets take a trip 30 years in the future, shall we
"Well JD it looks like your pancreas has eaten your liver." said Dr. Spock
"Wow how did that happen?" I respond
"Remember all that Green Beer you drank for St. Patrick day during the 00's, oops... not a good idea it seems!!!" he laughs to the side and starts to cough to cover it up
Plastic Gloves
Today I went to Wal-mart to pick up some Salad and q-tips. As I was buying my stuff, I noticed the cashier was wearing plastic gloves. Really? So your afraid your going to get some sort of hand std while counting back my $13.72. Let's take another trip to the future shall we.
"So your lungs just consumed your heart... sorry about that." said Dr. Spock
"Wow, how did that happen?" The former Walmart cashier with plastic clothes asks
"The plastic gloves... their toxic, who would have thought! Hey at least you don't smoke!!"
Oh by the way, before I left, I licked the cashier on the cheek!! Ha Ha Ha
love you blog,
JD
I know it's late but I literally worked today from 5am-7:30p with no breaks, except for 20 minutes at Subway Eat Fresh and Dr. Fitness, where I have lost almost 3 inches and 6% body fat in less than 3 weeks... call him today 843-455-3235!!! (ha ha it's fun to advertise)
The Green Beer
When my parents were kids everybody smoked cigarettes. You would walk by the soda shop and dime store and see 10 year olds puffing on their Lucky Strikes. I think at one point people thought that smoking was healthy. Now lets take a trip 30 years in the future, shall we
"Well JD it looks like your pancreas has eaten your liver." said Dr. Spock
"Wow how did that happen?" I respond
"Remember all that Green Beer you drank for St. Patrick day during the 00's, oops... not a good idea it seems!!!" he laughs to the side and starts to cough to cover it up
Plastic Gloves
Today I went to Wal-mart to pick up some Salad and q-tips. As I was buying my stuff, I noticed the cashier was wearing plastic gloves. Really? So your afraid your going to get some sort of hand std while counting back my $13.72. Let's take another trip to the future shall we.
"So your lungs just consumed your heart... sorry about that." said Dr. Spock
"Wow, how did that happen?" The former Walmart cashier with plastic clothes asks
"The plastic gloves... their toxic, who would have thought! Hey at least you don't smoke!!"
Oh by the way, before I left, I licked the cashier on the cheek!! Ha Ha Ha
love you blog,
JD
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